Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Make way

We've got some sharp drills coming through!

"Single file, gimmie some ACK ACK gents!"

"Halt! One section! 200 meters! Lone janitor mopping floor!"

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I used to wear jeans

but then I went to Afghanistan...and everything changed!

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Any weapons experts out there?

We can't figure out whether that's a whipped cream launcher or a fudge cannon?

Tops n bottoms!

"Derpa derp! Hi there, Tops!"

"Eyuk yuk! Hey there Bottoms!!"

"Is that an issued Goose-vest, tops?"

"Eyuk yuk! Sure is, bottoms!"

Friday, January 17, 2014

NDHQ desk slugs and zombies are indistinguishable.

Bleeding from the ears?

Safe to say this thudfuck just punched the clock; he's wrapping up another big day at the office! Two-hundred-and-forty-six rounds of solitaire later and he doesn't even remember his own fucking name!

Witnesses say he's been walking into that glass door for the last 20 minutes.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Trop sexy pour cette chemise!

Nous achetez les protein during le jour. They knows me dans la GNC quand i pulls out les tags et dey gives me discount militarie. I gets the most stuff. 

Den I Goes home and shotguns le tall boy avec my boys. I puts on my chemise preferer, gives da tags a quick buff and we goes to da club. So fuckin easy bro. Sluts are fou for les pistolets bro. Gets the D everytime!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Mile high club

When he's not force-feeding his pole into that bag o' relish, he's moonlighting as an air marshal.
What are you retards doing with your lives?

front and center!

We had our photographer ram a Blackberry camera up his dickhole for this bad boy. Even though his foreskin juice blurred up the already shit lens, don't even matter, cause cadpat stands out like a motherfucker! 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


The following is an open letter from our lawyers:

"#armybag" "my army bag" are copyrighted trademarks of Look At My Fucking Army Bag! ("LAMFAB"), a wholly-owned subsidiary of Goons Inc. Public proclamations of "my army bag!" or use of the hashtag are a violation of our copyright. The penalty for violating said copyright is to be publicly ridiculed to the full extent of the law.

combat engineer

colombian roast

(the following is an excerpt of what this intrepid soldier had to say when he found out there are no starbucks, only GreenBean, at the boardwalk in KAF)

you wanna play rough?? okay! say hello to my little friend!!!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Yorkville Mall

"Shopping for a new bag? Hah! Ya right buds, not in this life!"

Monday, October 28, 2013

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Movie date?

Well fellas, first things first: you gotta dress to impress. It's all about demonstrating value!

And what better way than to wear an outfit that says, "Hey girl! I'm going to rape you and kill you and feed your body to the pigs!"

Sunday, October 20, 2013


We got ourselves a loose seal here!


don't worry bro, I got this!