The newest attraction on the Ottawa bus tour

"if you look to your left, you'll see a locally-bred specimen: the NDHQ desk slug! Though rarely seen outside, the desk slug can usually be detected by the snail-trail they leave in their wake. Issued winter jackets in summertime are another dead giveaway."

The first rule of army-bag club,

is you do not talk about armybag club.

Holy shit boys, grab your bags and start your engines!

cause it's the inaugural 'look at my fucking army bag' convention!

Most-dedicated photographer!

 Figure 1

While the majority of the photos we receive are absolute garbage and may as well have been taken with a fucking kaleidescope (see figure 1), we get the occasional submission that leaves us in awe. For instance:

 

Though it's quite possible that our photographer was simply trapped in the gravitational pull of those overflowing yoga pants, we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt and honour him as this week's most dedicated photographer. Keep up the good work!

Tour money

While you burned your tour loot on an F-150 and a bunch of leather jackets, this alpha-dog bought a fuckin yacht!

 

Yeah, we're talking birkenstocks, slaks, tan bag parties, and more puss than you and your homo-loving truck could ever dream of. So, unless you plan on rolling that F-150 into a time-machine and doing roto 9 all over again, well...there's always next tour!

"Not now chief! I'm in the fuckin zone."

Who says the smallpack isn't modular?

For all of you 'non-believers' -- we've said it before and we'll say it again -- the issued smallpack is the most feared and revered bag in the world, bar none. Don't believe us? Have a look for yourself:

Modular hard-hat attachment clip AND a built in coat hanger? I'm sorry, did i break your concentration? You were saying something about a 'better bag'? Still not convinced?

He's on the frontline...

of the most dangerous excel spreadsheet this army has ever seen!!

What kind of raincoat do you wear?

If you consider yourself an ace amongst men the answer should be obvious. Over here at LAMFAB we can't put this more plainly: the new raincoat has velcro pockets and just looks godamn fucking incredible. Toss an IR flag on there and you may as well be a walking, talking Rohypnol Pez dispenser.

Conversely, if the 'back-alley abortionist' look is more your style, the old raincoat still offers some serious game:

A good idea in theory

Using a major's epaulette to blitz the gelato line seemed like a home run idea! All was going well until those snail-trailing, slackjaw civies mistook him for a godamn scum-of-the-earth corporal! Fucking civies!

It ain't this guys first rodeo.

The only thing more menacing than a cadpat purse are the pomegranate-sized balls it takes to purchase one of these abominations in the first place. Any pick-pockets hovering around this guys AO better check fire lest they wind up breathing through a tube for a living. 

It was love at first sight

Part-time soldier

Full-time clown.

Ever since soldier appreciation night,

this smallpack hasn't missed a game!

"If the Sens don't score at least I know I will!"

One exercise a month wasn't enough...

so they decided to form their own militia:

Winter whites, desert shemagh, AND a bayonet? Not hard to spot the leader in this section!

Yo guy, check out how sik this bag looks

When the three commandments of armybag selfies are put to the test, this power-bottom doesn't cut corners: fasten the chest-strap, cock back the head, and patiently await the river of dicks.

It's summertime, fellas... You know what that means!

Class B's, cut-off T's, CADPAT shorts and summer breeze! 

Mark your calendars, folks! May 10th is national 'wear-your-fucking-army-shorts' day! So grab those scissors and let's turn our favourite pair of pants into our favourite pair of shorts! See you all tomorrow!

Keep calm and smallpack on

Until we release our "Look at my fucking army bag!" catalogue of cadpat armbands, those chive shirts are the next best thing. This soldier is upset because he would prefer an armband.

Evel Knievel

We haven't seen skullmasks and armybags look this good together since Somalia!

 

It was a gametime decision...

but he went with the frag vest.

and over here at LAMFAB HQ, we couldn't agree more! That vest is almost guaranteed to stop a paintball! Oh, and for all you 'non-believers' who think he's just 'scared of the pain', do I need to remind you that he's wearing shorts and a t-shirt?

Take a look at that drive, folks. This hard-charging vessle blasted 'over the top' before they even blew the whistle. 

It wasn't long before he slipped into his natural role as a combat-leader. Good thing he's on our side!