Walkin the dog?

Fuck off mate, this is a presence patrol! 

Army bag yoga!

"It's the only bag that'll fit my mats!"

MARPAT is the dustiest camo to ever hit the scene

We did a couple polls and everybody fuckin agrees--marpat looks like the inside of an asshole! You wanna get laid? Wear multicam. You wanna live in a dumpster? Wear marpat. Plain 'n simple.

Somebody callin' for an exterminator?

Ribfest = one saucy AO!

Yeah, we're talkin serviettes, zipoff pants, tan-t's, and a boat-load of meaty danger. Better find yourselves some cover, ladies; these ribs bite back..."

Man's best friends

Over here at LAMFAB HQ, the vote was unanimous: we'd choose a bike and an army bag over a dumbfuck dog anyday!

 

Seriously, look how fucking good these pups look together. I hope he's got that bag on a leash!

Task Force: Wonderland

"Maaaan, Afghanistan shmashcanistan! I've done tours on the Behemeth, Top Gun, and the Bat. Whatever man, it's not even even a big deal, but like fuck man, these are some pretty hairy rides!"

"There it is, bro, The Drop Zone. It's like an IED on crack!"

"I can't believe those fucking dickheads wouldn't let me bring my smallpack on TOPGUN. What-the-fuck-ever! It's not like that was my childhood dream or anything! FUCK!!"

Heads up Wasaga Beach!

There's a new sheriff in town!

"That's a solid rog, sir, front of the line, as fuckin per."

"Two french vanillas, double cupped, double-time. And fill this drop pouch with as many Timbits as you slackjaws can handle. Yeah fuck it, gimme a French Cruller too, I'm a fuckin' SHEEPDOG, bro."

Go big or go home

welcome to the fuckin big leagues, kiddo. Step up or step down. You toss one of these badboys onto your back and you'll be ridin laps, first class, on the p-p-pussy train.

 "CHOOO CHOOO"

Range control, this is Nine Iron...

firing for effect, over.